The Land of Not O.K.
How easily we move from the land of Jubilation, then have our visa revoked and are moved back to the Land of not O.K. The Peruvian has informed me this weekend that he's thinking about becoming a priest and he has serious concerns about the amount of time that I spend with my friends and can't see a future with us because of it. I think he is freaking out with nerves but this opinion is not well received by him.
It's not that I don't have a lot of experience in the Land of Not. O.K. Its not that I haven't been told how much I am loved, how much I am wanted to spend the rest of life with and how much I make someone happy only to be told some kaka mayme story that makes no sense less than a month later and now this person never wants to see me again in their whole life.
Which of course, brings me back to my first post on this site. Is it worth the heartache? And I quote my wise single self from back then:
"For His reasons, God has needed to form me and fashion me to have great
strength. He has left me on the potter's wheel for some time. Each relationship
a touch to the clay, a finger narrowing in here, hands widening there. I
question and I search and I step out in adventure with each move a spin of the
potters wheel and each relationship molding my shape until I am crafted just so."I can look back and know that I have loved as God has asked me to love and that I have been faithful to every movement. And God in is Wisdom has asked me to step out onto the surface to walk on the water to allow me to beleive in him and to fashion and mold me even more into the woman he desires me to be. Let it be done to me according to your will. And the beauty that we create in the process is breathless to behold.
posted by Rojo at 10:01 AM
3 Comments:
((((((hug)))))
I'm sorry... let me know what you need -- if you wanna talk or open a bottle of Schlumberger or both.
Been there, heard it all, kiss my big fat butt. I prefer the land of "it's not ok to seriously date a woman at your age and not have figured out your vocation before now and make up some kakamame story of your 'concerns' of her spending too much time with her friends". I thought we were all past this point of guys giving us this crap excuse of priesthood? Who has honestly heard that tired old excuse in the last 5 years? It's truly big fat crap. The whole story done has my blood risin'!!! Where's my bat? Rika, if I were there, we'd got out to the dollar store and buy a whole lotta wine glasses, drink with all of them, then smash them against the dumpster late at night in a drunken stuper. I've got your back sister and hey, you've got my bat and you would honor me to use it as frequently as possible!
I love you sister. I'm praying.
Mel
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