Numero Uno

Wow,

How intimadating to join the Blogsphere.... Surely this couldn't be harder than jumping into the frigid waters in the River in Austin with Thousands of my fellow Triathletes slathered in wetsuits and body numbering....

Just jump...

Splash.....


Water IS cold... Hyperventilating....


Start moving your arms....



So The movie Broken Flowers..... More meaningful to those of us single, and even more meaningful to those of us who have been single for a long while...

Relationships... What do they mean to our lives and what do we leave behind when we walk off into the sunset never to look back but only forward into the next town and adventure. With no other group do we slam our lives into so fiercely only to walk away from so completely. It seems like a Bootcamp shout to the other party, "TWO months soldier, influence my life profoundly, GO!"... What if I were to track down all of my Boyfriends and "check in". Gulp.... Would I be grateful to have passed these trains by? Grateful to have been forced to walk some of these planks?

In my heart of hearts, I know the answer is yes. I know I am like the Blind Woman I saw at mass last night being led by her son through the pews up to communion... bump.... crash.. slam... keep going, steady to the ultimate destination...

And what do these bumps and crashes do for me exactly? Are they oh so necessary to reach that destination. Can't God lead me a bit better around these obstacles?


These bootcamps of interrelation can be like blow torch flames of growth. Who am I, what are my values, what will I compromise on, what value do I give myself, what will I not allow another to dictate about who I am, where am a narrow minded and short of vision, how courageous am I. What occasions you are given to screw down your courage and go for it, speak up, stand for yourself, let things ride when space is needed.

I mean, really, couldn't God have done all this with one relationship? The answer, obviously is no. For His reasons, God has needed to form me and fashion me to have great strength. He has left me on the potter's wheel for some time. Each relationship a touch to the clay, a finger narrowing in here, hands widening there. I question and I search and I step out in adventure with each move a spin of the potters wheel and each relationship molding my shape until I am crafted just so.